Conflict Resolution ... What The Heck Are You Thinking?


Do you get frustrated with your spouse, your kids, your parents? Maybe you can't stand your boss, or your co-workers drive you up the wall. I'll bet you think that if all these pesky people would just quit bothering you that you'd be really happy, right? Well guess what, you'd just find something else to drive you crazy because you like how it feels.

You THINK you don't want to feel upset or frustrated, but really, it is your THOUGHTS that are causing you pain, not the feelings. Try this. The next time you find yourself upset about something, STOP THINKING. Just stop the head for a minute and feel what is going on inside your body. Feel your heart rate, notice your breathing, pay attention where your body feels tight. STOP THINKING! Maybe you'll notice that your heart is racing, your breath is shallow, and your stomach is clenched.

Now think of a time when you had these same physical sensations but you were in a "happy place." Perhaps you were having an amorous evening with your significant other, or you were at a sporting event and cheering on your winning team, or you were anxiously awaiting the surprise guest of honor at a party. You experience that same exhilarating feeling in both Joy and Conflict.

If you want to have fewer conflicts in your life, you can start by admitting that you like that stimulating feeling you get when you're frustrated. Try this the next time you're sitting there, stewing in your own juices because "someone" ticked you off:

1. STOP THINKING ... Put all of your excuses, arguments, and validations on hold.

2. FEEL THE FEELING ... What are your physical sensations?

3. REMEMBER ... When have you enjoyed this same physical feeling in the past?

4. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY ... You wanted to feel exhilaration and you got it. Now own it.

Once you take responsibility, you'll see that it's pointless to blame others when you get upset, frustrated, and angry. The truth is, you're really getting a kick out of it. After you've followed this sequence a few times, you'll discover a knee-jerk reaction to conflict that will remind you that you got frustrated just so you could feel the excitement.

5. LAUGH ... Don't take yourself so seriously. It's actually kinda funny.

If frustration and conflict work for you, then by all means, don't try this. Just keep doing what you're doing, and you'll keep getting what you've always gotten. I promise, this will only work if you practice it. Once you've tried this suggestion a few times, you'll discover that your THINKING is causing your conflicts and you'll realize just how silly that is.

"There is nothing either bad or good, but thinking makes it so." --William Shakespeare

ęDawn Breeze-George. Reprint rights granted with article and resource box intact.

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Dawn Breeze-George is a Licensed Massage Therapist, Reiki Master and Holistic Practitioner. Dawn has been practicing Holistic healing for more than 18 years, and is committed to healing the body, mind, and spirit. See my story at: www.nonijuice.bravehost.com/dawn.html">http://www.nonijuice.bravehost.com/dawn.html


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